BLESSINGS ON LOVE
BLESSINGS ON LOVE
“The reason for love is not reason.”
Many people fall in love and pledge their love. But, since falling in love is very different from landing, lovers need the wisdom of experience balanced with the reminder that what others give you is much less important than what you give, or do not give, each other. And remembering this can be its own blessing.
When you fall in love, you hand someone your heart. When you fall in love, you hand over your strength, and your fears, and your please-don’t-hurt-me, and you hand over so much you wonder if you have anything left to give anyone else, ever. And when you’ve have handed over all that you fall on your knees, and you thank God that you have been given the chance to give away what you would never, never allow anyone else to take. And never forget this because if you do you will never forgive yourself for forgetting it. Never forget that falling in love is handing someone else more than the keys to your kingdom of happiness and hurt. Falling in love is handing someone else the keys to your kingdom of feeling and becoming not their emotional vassal but an emotional vessel. Anyone who is filled with themselves cannot be increased by others.
The reason for love is not reason. Love is more than passion and a person. Love is intimacy with life. Love transforms you from this day on because you have never before been this intimate with living. And the proof of this is in the eyes of anyone who has been in love, and loved, and is now alone.
But this too is one of life’s true lessons. It is not a sin to be alone. It is a gift because you are a gift to you. You are a gift that you must love in order to be loved. Otherwise you are not becoming one out of love but joining with another out of a fear of being alone. And the path that avoids pain is not necessarily the path to happiness.
Love is a garden; as you sow so shall you reap. Plant pride; reap anger. Plant humility; reap laughter. Love is a blessing. It is like the gentle dew that falls on parched fields. May you be quenched by each other.
May you live in the circle of each other’s arms.
May you be friends who give each other distance and are never far away.
May you remember how you feel today and that your love taught each other to feel. May you love each other not because you must but because you can.
May you have the courage to be honest with each other and promise, first to yourselves, never to lie to each other out of the fear of being alone. May you guard each other’s solitude and the sanctity of solitude in your relationship.
May you remember to love each other in sickness and in health but that it is not your work to heal the other or to do the other’s work. May you remember that it is not your work because it is not work you can do. May you remember even when you can’t heal each other, that patience is a poultice, acceptance an analgesic, and kindness its own cure.
May you remember that you will often forget what you promise to remember. And remember that we all forget. And don’t forget it.
May you remember that love opened your eyes, but to save your love you may have to close one eye, and to keep your love there may come times when you may have to close both eyes.
May you remember that love isn’t about being right or being wronged. May you remember that anyone who is always right is usually wrong. May you remember that when life’s winds blow what does not bend breaks.
May you remember that to fall in love is to treasure what you have in common, but to remain in love will require you to cherish the differences. May you remember that love isn’t about agreeing to get along but staying close when you’re a long way away from agreeing.
May you remember that all of our lasting decisions are made in seasons of our mind that do not last. May you remember that who your lover once was is less important than who they might yet become – and you too. May you remember that love can be a constant but that change is the only constant and how you love will change too. To embrace love requires the courage to embrace change.
May you remember that the Golden Rule – to not do unto others what you would not do to yourself – is also the Golden Rule in love. May you remember that the Golden Rule, in love and life, remains golden only if you think highly of your self.
May you remember that falling in love is very different from landing. May you remember to be there to catch each other. Because we all fall. Because we all fail. Because we are all frail. Because we all need to be loved.
“May you remember that on this day, in the shade of the Tree of Life, under the great sky if this moment, you have received my blessing. May you always remember that you are rooted in time. May you always live under the canopy of growth. May your love always be strong limbs that wrap around each other. May you always sway to the wind and make of your romance a dance to life’s breezes. May you on the darkest night always know the night as a canvas to paint stars to dream on. And may time, when it takes you, remind you that your time together was a dream for the ages to dream on.
That is my blessing and may it be blown to the four corners by prayer.
Noah benShea Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved
PO Box 1087
Summerland, Ca 93067
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